I'm Stuck and the New Year Looms

Canva. Red volkswagen beetle stuck in a snowstorm.

This isn’t a place where I discuss deep or personal noise. The content should be relatable to other writers who I hope find help or a laugh when they’re stuck in the trenches. I share my pups because they’re adorable and it’s hard not to smile at my two hooligans. But otherwise, I’m focused.  

Until I'm not. I’ve been trying to get through a year-end review. Most years, this is one of my favorite activities. I love to aggregate information on what I’ve learned year after year. But as the pandemic pivoted at the holidays, I find myself stuck. I’m lost in the fog. I need something or someone to hit the foghorn and help me get back to my center.  

Canva. Sign posts pointing in many directions.

I wrote to you about this because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has found themselves at this signpost. We’re all connected. Humans, I mean. I’m a total introvert who has wanted to see people. Things are upside down and spinning around. 

It’s hard to sit down and study what happened in twenty twenty-one. Who wants to go back and remember all the stress, fear and no end in sight for disease and the vulnerable? The terror of COVID-19 touches every single one of us. No one will get out unscathed. It’s like a huge echo of suffering going around the globe. 

I made it through my wins because who doesn’t want to celebrate absolutely everything. Stuff got done. Quiet dedication helped move the needle career wise. Good things happened. That’s exciting, right? 

Except there is a cloud of rain falling on my head. Finding a new yellow brick road for next year hasn’t happened. In years past, I’ve had the entire year mapped out. Personal and professional goals broken into bite-sized pieces over months and weeks and days.  

I still need to do my goals, business plan, social media calendar and my editorial calendar. I’m so uncomfortable about not having these things nailed down. I think that’s some anxiety flaming away.  

Time is such a precious resource. With the constant drum of deaths and variants, I can’t seem to think about anything for long. I’m wasting time trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my time. Isn’t that ironic? 

How do I my groove back? I’m going to try not forcing things. Let ideas percolate while I navigate real world stuff. My mind is organized by default. Old ways of thinking can be updated, but who I am and what makes my brain unique won’t.  

Canva. Fog over a wet dirt road lined with trees.

I keep hearing, “Courage, dear heart.” It’s like a mantra that keeps running around in my mind. What I think, I am. It’s what’s inside of me that needs to change. That’s all I can control. All of this outside stuff is frustrating and leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.  

I plan to get on top of things before the ball drops, but it’s tough to plan in this season of uncertainty. It’s ok to not be ok. Give yourself some grace.  

One thought I’ve got for next year is scheduling fun. Goofing off seems wasteful. I’m an overachiever. I work my plan. Everything has a reason. I’m a homebody who likes books and naps.  

I bet there are a bunch of you who need more fun and joy. I’m considering ideas and how I can punch through my comfort zone. There will be rest in enjoying myself. Maybe that’s what we all need. A respite on a long road full of potholes and debris.  

If you’re struggling, don’t lose heart. I’m right there with you. Reach out if you need an elbow bump or a kind word. We’re going to make it. Just hold on.